SHOULD WE GO BACK TO THE ROOTS AND EMBRACE KUTEKA MARRIAGE?

 

Pic from Swazi Observer Newspaper

Ever since the arrival of western missionaries in Africa, Africans have been urged to forfeit their traditional way of taking a wife and embrace the western way of getting married. Swazis from the kingdom of Eswatini are not an exception.

Although it is true that some people still prefer the traditional way of getting married known as kuteka, most people in our days are embracing the western way of getting married. This is because for the past few decades most churches have been painting kuteka as evil. According to most pastors during the kuteka ceremony there are rituals that are performed that symbolizes a pact with the death known as ancestors aka emadloti in siSwati language.

The million dollar question is, is all kuteka evil? Of course on the subject of evil we will have to assemble the priests and bishops to answer it. Since I am not a bishop, I am only going to state what I have read and observed. Needless to say, I am well versed with the kuteka way of getting married as I have witness it countless times and I have been learning about it in my high school life.

Recently, I was reading an article from one of the newspapers of Swaziland which stated that per month, at least 20 people apply for divorce. This is roughly 240 people who apply for divorce yearly. This begs the question, if western form of marriage is good why so many people are applying for divorce? At this point in time I might not have all the answers, but I am very humbled to state some few reasons base on my observation.

The first reason is, western marriage is not based on family bond. In kuteka marriage, when one takes a wife; the wife is for the family and the community at large. This comes in handy when couples have problems. In Swazi tradition, if couples have a problem, the problem is reported to the elders (labadzala) who then call the couples to learn more about the problem and provide a remedy. This is not the case in western marriage. When Couples have problems in western marriage they call a pastor who probably pray for them and they eventually get a divorce.

They second reason is that in western marriage couples are told that in marriage everything is rosy. They will live happy ever after. This is evident by the joyful celebration, food and drinks. This is not the case in kuteka. The whole duration of kuteka is the initiation of pain. The woman is insulted to show what might happen one day. The songs bring the memories of pain and suffering. Even the people who are advising the woman are old women who have experienced that life; not just some man in a fancy suit. In short, woman in traditional marriage (kuteka) learns early that marriage is not all fun and games.

The last but not least reason is that the kuteka marriage all happens within the confinement of a family and neighbors. Unlike in western marriage where family members are rarely needed. That explains why when they have problems they seek outside help instead of family.

In conclusion, Africans need to rethink western education and western way of life. Culture and tradition were created over time to protect its people. People who follow their way of life will always find a solution to their problem.  Do you think western marriage is the best?